Posts By Hena

❝ It all hurts. It all feels sad. Everything was heavy. Everyone is just curious and does not really care. I'm depressed. Too much pressure. I'm stress. Too many thoughts. I hate myself who can not do anything well. I hate myself. Everything is getting heavier. I want to stop. I do not want to think about anything. I want to be free of the monster inside me. If indeed I can not be free of that monster, I really do not want to live. I want to end it. ❞ -mldhn

That Girl (Part 9) Over and over that girl told herself that everything would be okay. That girl kept repeating the sentence, though she still cried. I think tonight that girl will not be able to sleep. She's been a couple of days all right and I'm grateful for that. But this time I do not think that girl can to keep being that all is well. Things she did not know and why, just kept distracting her thoughts. She was tormented again. That girl looked so tired. That girl repeatedly asked herself, why is she like this? Why does not any one ask, is she okay or not? That girl just wanted someone to care about her. Why do not people realize that girl is so depressed and why no one around her notices? Not her parents, her siblings, her friend, her classmates, no one. Like she can literally be on the verge of tears, drowning, and everyone is totally oblivious. -mldhn-

That Girl (Part 8) Every day it feels painful. When that girl wakes up from her sleep, she is always crying. Even on the way to school the girl was crying. But once she got to school she could be so calm, as if everything was all right. That girl smiled pleasantly. By nightfall that girl was always tormented. That girl was tormented by her thoughts. That girl can only cry. That girl cried softly. That girl was crying everytime she slept. Things like that happen every day. That girl asked herself, would she be like this forever ? It's been nearly 8 months. Nothing changed and seemed to get worse. Will she continue like that? That girl was so desperate to end it. But that girl was afraid of what would happen if she ended it. Fear what happened afterwards. She could not tell anyone what had happened to her. The monster inside her body and mind kept torturing her. -mldhn

That Girl (Part 7) The girl just cried in silence and alone. She missed the old days. I think that girl is lonely. Because the girl is alone. No one cares. Someone who used to be together, play together, do anything together, now no longer together. No one cares about the girl anymore. In fact, they no longer contact each other. Everything has changed. It was proper for the girl herself. There is no one. Just alone. Anyway the girl was grateful, because it used to be so much fun. Although now it hurts. The girl wanted to say thank you and sorry to them. Take it easy the girl will try to keep it alright. Do not worry. -mldhn

❝ She hurts and she cries. But you can't see the depression in her eyes. Because she just smiles ❞

That Girl (Parts 5) The girl looks happy today. The girl was playing with her friends in the morning till noon. At night the girl's out playing with her sister. The girl looked happy. The girl was joking and laughing with very sincere. It's like - will she not have any problem. The girl was relieved. Although after returning from playing with her sister she looks sad again. The girl wants to day filled with happy things. Although it is not possible. The girl is grateful for today. Thank you for friends and her sister that make it fun. Ps. I'm sorry for of this post is very short.

“ listen to the people who love you.  believe that they are worth living for even when you don't believe it. seek out the memories depression takes away and project them into the future.  be brave; be strong; take your pills.  exercise because it's good for you even if every step weighs a thousand pounds. eat when food itself disgusts you.  reason with yourself when you have lost your reason. ” [—Andrew Solomon]

That Girl (Part 4) The girl was false.The girl pretending to be all right. The girl is increasingly chaotic. Although, she looks fine with it every day. The girl, tired. The girl, sad. The girl was too much to save her mind. The girl is stressed out. The girl was depressed. Every night the girl crying. She cried silently in she's room. She cried out in silence, because fear of anyone who knows, especially her parents. The girl just keep it all by yourself. The girl was afraid. Even if the girl tell other people, she didn't know what to who she talked. The girl was afraid if she's going to be at the despicable her friend. The girl was afraid if she's the story, then her friends will be mocked. Every day she was tortured by himself. Every day she seemed to want to die. -17 April 2018

❝ Dark night.  Dark day.  Heavy rain.  Be in a dark room.  With a dark mind.  Can not do anything.  Just silent and do nothing.  ❞

That Girl (Part 3) The girl, start the morning it very well. The girl was trying to stay cheerful as usual. The girl was joking with her friends. The girl was homework well. But, before noon there are things that make it so sad. The girl was always going to cry. But she couldn't pull the tears in front of her friends. The girl, to be okay again. The girl took advantage of the school when she is working group, which, incidentally, the girl locked in the classroom with three of her friends as a result of her classmates do. The girl said "I'll pretend to cry, so they opened the door.".The girl was deliberately say that. It is true that the girl really want to cry, but she didn't wanted her friends know she's actually crying because of what, so she just pretended to cry because it's locked in the classroom.

That Girl (Part 2) That girl, I saw that girl again. The girl was seen smiling cheerfully, with her friends she seem to be trying to still be fine. Ah, but who actually know that in the eyes of the girl looks so sick and sad she is. When That the girl wasn't with her friends. When that girl in she's house. That girl entered her room. That girl was alone. I think I can see her crying tonight. That girl looks so to miss someone. Ah, I think I know. The girl was kind of miss him. The girl missed one who no longer exists in this world. I can't stand to see her cry like that. If there is someone who hugged her tight and warm, I think that girl had a little bit of relief. She's probably a little bit more calm. Although, it would never remove the pain. I hope that girl be all right. Although, it won't happen. I want that girl to be fine. ~mldhena~ 18/03/2018

❝Falling for you was no accident, It didn't happen by chance. I choose to fall Much like stepping off of a cliff I knew there were rocks at the bottom, But I jumped anyways. ❞

That Girl Part 1 Actually, that girl looks fine.But what really happened, The girl's mind too much. But strangely, she doesn't know what she really think. The girl felt like everything was too heavy. Until now, she don't know why. The girl was always thinking she's a most sad. Sometimes the girl want to die. The girl feel lonely, even though she has family and friend. The girl was confused. The girl was always trying to keep from crying. Although she really wants to cry and scream loudly. Once again, she hold it. She was smiling and laughing with cheerful, as if she's fine. -Mauludia Hena